Take heart! Forgotten resolutions are a source of guilt for everyone – with or without ADD! If you have sworn off making resolutions in the new year because you know they will be forgotten by March, take at least some comfort in knowing how common that is. If you want to make a resolution or two but are fearful you will fail yet again, keep reading. While my ideas are neither unique nor fool-proof, they contain principles that are essential to making any change more lasting.*

1. Ask yourself: “Do I truly, deeply want to change (start, stop, or modify) this behavior?” The first step is what I call, “getting ready to get ready”. One has begun to think about changing but is not quite ready to do so. There are lots of mixed feelings as one thinks about what one will have to give up (i.e., the cost-benefit analysis). “Getting ready to get ready” can last several months. Don’t skip this step by trying to move too quickly into making changes. If you aren’t truly ready, you are likely to undermine your efforts.

2. If you have been “getting ready to get ready” for a few months, you may be moving into the “ready to take action” phase. You have decided that the benefits outweigh the costs and are intending to take action in the immediate future. At this stage it is time to identify the specific actions required to change. For example, the first action steps for losing weight might be joining Weight Watchers or buying a scale. The first step for setting up a budget might be to schedule a date with a trusted friend or advisor to show you how to set up a cash system. Whatever they are, the first steps should be clear, precise steps about which you can say, “Yes I have done that” or “No I haven’t.” Avoid vague steps like, “I should call Fred to see if he will help me.”

3. As you begin to take action, make sure each step is small enough to keep you from feeling overwhelmed.
   a. Use the 2-minute Rule and the 5-minute Rule.
   b. Learn this “mantra” – “Any is better than none!” 5 minutes of exercise is better than none; a walk from the far end of the parking lot is better than from a spot by the door; “a penny saved is a penny earned”.

4. Build “maintenance” into your schedule. By this I mean scheduling check-ups to remind you of your goal and the specific steps to that goal.
   a. If you use a paper calendar, put the steps on a sticky and place the sticky a few weeks into the future.
   b. If you use an electronic calendar, set an electronic reminder of your steps a few weeks out.
   c. In either case, after reviewing your reminder, move it to another date in the future so you have a perpetual reminder.

5. If you discover that you have lost sight of your goal, make the reminders more frequent. They may need to be weekly, or even daily, for a few weeks. Frequently revisit your steps to make sure they are small, concrete, and do-able.

6. Forgetting your goal is like falling off a horse. Just dust yourself off, get back on, and keep riding! Rather than beat yourself up with name-calling (I’m such a loser!”), or resorting to similarly unhelpful self-talk, simply say to yourself (and others, should they comment), “It’s okay. I’m learning to ride. I’m bound to fall off occasionally, but I can still get back on!”

7. A final note: If you insist on “all or nothing”, you are guaranteed to end with “nothing”. Decide instead that “any is better than none” and keep riding. Eventually, you will discover that you seldom fall off.
   

*Much of this tip is drawn from James Prochaska’s work on stages of behavior change in smoking cessation. He identified 6 stages: Precontemplation (no intention to change); Contemplation (thinking about changing); Preparation (intending to take action very soon); Action (have started making overt steps); Maintenance (relapse prevention); and Termination (zero temptation to relapse).